Have you noticed that in the workplace, when newcomers try to advance certain matters, they always encounter various kinds of obstacles?
You have clearly expressed your thoughts and suggestions, but the other party still ignores them and even acts in a perfunctory manner. You have also made it clear how important this matter is, but the other party doesn't even take you seriously.
So I realized quite early on that communication is not merely about simply transmitting information; it is also a fun psychological game.
Then, I summarized a communication method that is very beneficial for a newcomer entering the workplace. It is simply to observe whether the information you convey can make the other party feel that this matter is closely related to my interests. This is actually a subtle anchoring effect. That is, by using the strategy of guiding questions, we can guide the other party to think that this matter is related to him, but at the same time, make him feel that this is his own idea.
Because people are all driven by interests, especially in the workplace. When you lack experience and background, and are unable to mobilize more workplace resources, you should transform the problem into one that both parties need to solve together. During communication, establish a relationship of a common interest community. When the outcome of this matter has little to do with him, he won't be so concerned.
In this situation, no matter what you say, the other person's brain operates in a "left ear in, right ear out" mode. They simply won't pay attention to what you are saying. No matter what you say, this matter is of the lowest priority.
(You are conveying information or making a request, but the other person doesn't feel that this matter offers any help to them.)
For instance, let me give you an example. When you need colleagues from other departments to assist you with some tasks, but they perform the task in a perfunctory manner and fail to achieve the expected results, then you timidly ask, "Hello, can we make some changes to this poster?" Don't say it like this. This is equivalent to placing the conflict point of the conversation on "the quality of the work done by the other party", which is likely to trigger the other party's defensive mechanism, especially when you have just joined the company and have little experience.
At this point, you can ask in a different way. You say, "This poster is very beautiful. It must have taken a lot of effort. However, it might still be a bit off from the leader's expectations. Maybe I didn't express myself clearly at the beginning. So, if we want to achieve the xx style, do you think we should make some adjustments or offer some suggestions?"
Note that at this point, the other person will no longer view it as "it's just my problem", but rather as a problem that "we" need to solve together. You inadvertently bring the other person onto the same side as you, and guide them to start thinking within this framework.
This method is not only applicable in the workplace, but can also be used in any relationship and has proven to be effective time and time again.
Let's try it in a different setting.
For example, if there are some conflicts between you and your boyfriend in life, you can replace "you" with "we". Instead of saying "How could you do this? How could you always play games instead of doing housework? How about you?", this way will trigger his defensive mindset. It's very likely that the two of you will start arguing.
To be honest, since I've noticed that you enjoy playing two games after work every day and then do the housework (in a practical sense rather than emotionally), I really hope we can have some common time to do something together. Would you like to play games together after finishing the housework? (Unity front?)
In summary, it is about stating the facts (rather than expressing emotions) + expressing demands + forming a united front (replace "you" with "we")
But there is one thing that must be noted: when it comes to stating facts, emotions must be avoided. Anything with emotions attached is no longer a fact, and the other party will feel accused. As a result, the subsequent steps cannot be carried out.
So, actually, communication is a very fun game of strategy, especially in the workplace. There is no winner or loser. It's not about who is more powerful. The goal is to convince the other party and guide them to achieve the result you want, so that they can align with you on the same side. This is also a communication method that I suggest everyone learn - gentle yet powerful.
Never think that by lowering your head you have lost. The outcome will always bring you more actual growth than that fleeting moment of excitement.
