Hello everyone, I'm Potato.
Today is my 31st birthday. At this moment, beside me are my little cat and dog. I'm living in the house I bought myself, and there is a cup of cold drink with ice cubes on the table.
This was an extremely ordinary day, yet it was the ideal life I had longed for since many years ago. Although at that time, I didn't expect to live alone for a long time and have both cats and dogs as my companions.
At the age of 31, I have been living alone for many years, and I have a feeling that for a long time to come, I will continue to lead such a life. But I still feel extremely happy, far more fulfilled and complete than I was at the age of 18.
At the age of 18, I always thought that by the time I was 30, I would be very successful. Maybe I would have long curly hair, a happy family, and two adorable children.
When one reaches the true age of 30, they will realize that for ordinary people, having a stable job, being in good health, having parents still alive, and being financially independent are far more important than many of the so-called "happinesses" of the world.
As a girl from the countryside, I have been wandering alone in the first-tier cities for nearly a decade. And I have increasingly realized that every year after the age of 30 is much happier than when I was in my twenties. I have more enthusiasm for the world and can overcome all difficulties to learn what I want to learn.
If there is any experience that I can share with myself and all my friends, I hope it would be the following:
Learn more skills beyond your main profession, and you'll have more chances.
Never set limits for yourself. Just go and learn whatever you want. The most difficult thing for middle-aged people is to maintain their curiosity about the world. When you are interested in something, seize the opportunity to learn it.
Let me tell you secretly, after the age of 30, learning things becomes much faster than when you were in your teens. The principles are understandable, the things you actively learn don't get sleepy easily, and the difficult points in learning can be easily overcome. Moreover, you can quickly verify them through practical application.
The economy is in decline, and no ordinary person can escape the impact. Please always maintain a sense of crisis and cultivate the ability to survive beyond your main occupation.
As my acquaintances know, I enjoy piecing together various side hustles. For instance, I run a home-related account on Xiaohongshu to do promotions, take part-time photoshoots with a camera, sell virtual materials, and so on. Even now, writing for the public account to improve my writing skills is also an exploration and attempt of a side business. When I started taking photos of many girls with my camera, I gradually discovered my talent and unintentionally expanded my social circle.
2. Accept the flow of all relationships.
An important sign of a person's maturity is the ability to make choices and let go of what is no longer needed, and to avoid forcing things.
After the age of 30, one can no longer always attribute failures to the family of origin. The way your parents treat you and your attitude towards them are both things that can be controlled by yourself. A loving family nurtures birds that are attached to home, while a non-loving family nurtures birds that are free. Everything is the best arrangement.
When dealing with all relationships, you must respect your inner feelings. Approach them with ease and comfort, and if you feel uncomfortable, move away immediately.
All emotions are fluid. Former good friends will gradually drift apart, and you will constantly encounter new companions on the journey. When relationships change, there is no need to delve into the details. Face your inner self calmly, accept the sudden favor from heaven, and also understand the sudden upheaval.
Treat every relationship sincerely, and be brave to accept the arrangements of fate. All you need to do is keep moving forward.
3. Purchase insurance to prevent problems before they occur.
Recently, my dog accidentally bit the neighbor, and I had to pay out over 700 yuan in compensation. In a state of distress, I suddenly remembered that I had bought home property insurance three months ago when I bought the house. At that time, I also casually purchased a cheap pet liability insurance. I consulted the insurance company, and it turned out that I could claim reimbursement of 200 yuan. Although the deductible of 500 yuan was a bit high, recovering 200 yuan actually made me very pleasantly surprised. The insurance itself only cost around 100 yuan.
This makes me extremely grateful for my consistent positive attitude towards insurance. When I was 27 years old, I realized that being the main breadwinner of the family was of utmost importance to me. Without the support of my family, it would be extremely disastrous if an accident occurred. Therefore, I purchased accident insurance, medical insurance and critical illness insurance for myself, just in case something happened, so that I could bear some of the risks and prevent everything I had built over the years from collapsing completely.
At the age of thirty, insurance is a source of reassurance, but it is also the only expense category in the world that we don't really want to use.
If financial conditions permit, it is recommended that young people purchase insurance for their health, property, pets and parents. Especially for those from families with poor economic conditions, parents often only have rural new rural cooperative medical insurance. In case of sudden accidents or illnesses, they will face very heavy financial burdens. The main breadwinner of the family must also purchase insurance with a relatively high coverage amount to avoid falling into poverty overnight.
Having more insurance means more stability and less fear of unexpected events.
4. Invest in health and keep exercising
I have many friends who always stay up late, even staying awake all night. They have a disrupted sleep pattern. When they were young, they didn't think much about it. But once they reach the age of 30 or above, their bodies tend to give out signs of trouble.
When I have an irregular schedule, my mood tends to be unstable and agitated. I also suffer from acne. When I'm extremely busy and tired at work, I don't have time to eat properly, which leads to a rapid increase in my weight and makes me look plump and unattractive. I also lack energy.
A body that is not treated well will encounter various problems before reaching old age.
After realizing this, I made up my mind to seriously adjust my diet and stick to exercise. My diet no longer consisted mainly of unrestrained binge eating. I also tried to eat fewer snacks and less takeout, and instead ate more unprocessed raw foods. I tried various forms of exercise, ranging from group classes at the gym to home-based strength training. Even with just a pair of small dumbbells, I could do exercises at home at any time.
Maintaining good physical health corresponds to mental relaxation and comfort. When the body and mind are in harmony, as muscles start to grow, the minor anxieties in life will gradually disappear.
Eat well, sleep on time, and keep exercising - these are the cheapest investments for physical and mental health, and also the most rewarding habits.
5. Persist in saving money and reduce consumption
The first-generation Hollywood Chinese actress Liu Yuling once mentioned that she had saved a sum of money. If someone forced her to do something she didn't like, she could simply refuse. This sum of money was her guarantee for survival, and it was also the foundation for her confidence and freedom.
Everyone should have a similar fund. The amount of this money doesn't need to be too large. Just set it according to your own situation. It will enable you to gracefully turn around and boldly refuse when facing numerous hardships in life.
My consumption reduction has been ongoing for seven years. From being a person who spent all their money each month to buying a house, I have deeply realized the significance of saving money and being thrifty.
I don't know when it happened, but at that point I had reached the point of being fed up with the high prices of Uniqlo. The 20-yuan shorts and 30-yuan short-sleeved shirts that Pdd bought became the outfits I wore most frequently every day.
When I first graduated, I was trapped in the consumption trap of "spending money on my own beauty". I bought many so-called luxury products, such as essence, Lancôme powder water, and so on. Now, I no longer spend a lot of money on skincare on my face. Eventually, I only have one bottle of moisturizing cream. My skin neither gets worse nor better. I have escaped the trap of consumerism and embraced my true appearance.
Money never lets you down. Saving money can really become addictive. When I was buying a house and was able to independently come up with a 700,000 yuan down payment, it shocked many of my peers. I didn't earn a lot of money; I just kept track of my expenses every day, never bought luxury items, and was consistently saving money in secret. Through the persistence day after day, my savings gradually grew like a snowball, building my life.
6. Never be self-pitying
Before blowing out the candles on my 31st birthday, I was holding my phone and taking several photos of myself. I was celebrating my birthday alone, but my heart was filled with anticipation.
In the past, if I thought about someone's birthday, I would always feel a sense of pessimism: Why am I alone? Why is there no one to love and accompany me?
Now, I just feel extremely happy. Standing beside me, I filled my wish fund with 5,000 yuan on my birthday. Then I went to a boutique to buy lipstick and eyebrow pencils, went to a fruit store to pick out a big durian, and carried a delicate and beautiful small cake home. By the way, I also bought a hydrangea that I like. The sense of ceremony that I enjoy, I have given it to myself. It's free and happy.
I don't know when it started, but I have grown tired of this self-pitying feeling. When facing difficulties, it's very easy for me to get lost in the pessimistic mood at that moment, constantly ruminate on the sad past, and pray for a savior to descend from the sky to save me.
Stop imagining and truly love yourself. Treat yourself with the same way you expect to be loved. Don't look back and dwell on any failures. Don't ruminate over sad memories.
When facing difficulties, grit your teeth, gather your courage, and solve the problem.
Bravely open that door. There is nobody outside.
Finally, I'd like to share with you a sentence that I really like, from Matt's book "The Reasons to Live":
In your heart, there lives a radiant version of yourself. She loves you and desires for you to succeed, to win, and to be happy.
